The Real “Dear Jane” Letter

Dear L.,

My criticisms of your behavior have caused you much pain, anguish and turmoil.  I am sorry, and I regret having made such criticisms.  As you say, they were without merit.  My words made you feel inferior and unworthy.  The words seemed to paint you as a monster.  In the end, my crticisms seemed to imply that you were undeserving of my love.  For all these implications and more, I am sorry.  I truly regret making you feel such pain.

You should know that you are very deserving of the best love.  You are beautiful, intelligent and resourceful.  Despite my criticisms, you are more than capable of handling the most enormous burdens.  You have endurance and determination that many women cannot match – and, as you say, who would breakdown and give up under such pressure.  You have ambition and strong family values.  Such qualities and more make you very attractive.  You don’t ever have to worry about who your husband and father of your children will be because such qualities as you have can only demand the best.

You should know this.  And I am ashamed if my criticisms caused you to doubt those qualities.

I have known you for over ten years – two of those years intimately.  You have grown much, especially in the last couple of years.  You are more loving and caring than before.  And, in time, I am sure you will be even more so.

The most important thing is not to lose focus.  The anger you have will pass.  Everything will be okay.  Life will always bring new joys.  So, the most important thing is not to lose focus.  Concentrate on what’s important for your future… for your own self and your own family.  Life will always bring new happiness.

Don’t worry about me.  I will be okay.  Like you said, I will learn.  I will adapt.

You were the best thing that ever happened to me, L.

Yours truly,

Keenton C. Luong 姜

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